Separation
by KitsuneRei02
Summary: Shuichi was trapped within his own body, but his freedom is close... Can he deal with it? DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own these wonderful characters, sadly. They belong to Yoshihiro Togashi-sensei, and more I'm too lazy to look up.

Separation

Chapter 1

I am Minamino Shuichi. No one else. I share my body with Youko Kurama, a demon who entered my body before I even realized I had it. He is an expert thief, with beautiful silver hair, a long, luxurious tail, and sharp instincts. He's smarter than anyone I know, and is courageous. He's a fox. I know him better than I know anyone.

...I hate him.

Youko is the one who controls my body. He's the one who gives my mother love. He's my little brother's older brother. He hides me away in the back of his mind, and I'm sure that he even forgets I'm there. He completely controls my life. No one but him even knows that I exist. I, the real Minamino Shuichi, have never tasted freedom.

He isn't a bad person or anything. I just hate him because, like the master thief he is, he stole my identity and my life. He has truly changed like he says. He is a sweet, loving person who is kind to all those he meets. He is still that dangerous fox he is rumored to be, but better.

He just forgets about me. He never cared about me in the first place. And then when he had begun to change, he was so wrapped up in himself that he forgot me completely. I'm stuck watching the life I was supposed to have and control happen right before my eyes with no say in anything. I used to be able to talk to him, but now I'm so far away from him, he doesn't even know I'm here and I can't reach.

Just because I have no control over my life, it doesn't mean I don't care for those around me. I love my family dearly, and care for Youko's friends as if they were my own.

Yusuke is a good man, with a good sense of humor and an even better sense of what is right and wrong. He's someone I look up to. Kuwabara is a big goof and I enjoy his company immensely. The girls are all wonderful. Botan cheers me right up, while Shizuru and her carefree style of life relax me. Keiko reminds me of my responsibilities, no matter how little of them there are. Yukina makes me feel warm and gentle inside, whilst Atsuko makes me want to throw a party!

And, just like Youko, the one I prefer to be with the most is Hiei. We each have different reasons, of course. He likes the fact that Hiei understands the way of demon life and such. Hiei is his best friend. Of course, the one Youko cares about most is my mother, but that doesn't stop him from yearning for Hiei every now and then. I can understand that, too. He just wants to talk to someone he can relate to. And he values Hiei's friendship as something well earned and needed.

I'm the one who loves Hiei. I want more than anything to be free, and if I were to ever be granted my freedom, I would go straight to Hiei. I know that he doesn't give a damn about me. He probably doesn't even know I exist, but I know he exists. I treasure the time Youko spends with him, yearning to take control and show Hiei myself and my forever growing affection toward him.

My love for him is both a strength and a weakness. It depends all on how I think about it. Thinking, 'He doesn't even know I exist, he'll never talk to me, and I'd terrify him if I ever did get to show my true feelings…' I become weak and depressed. But if I think happily that I'll get to see him when I know he'll be visiting, or daydream about him and myself, I become somewhat cheerful.

Though, none of this really matters now, as I watch through my eyes as youko chats cheerfully with classmates on the way out of school.

"I'm really sorry, but I can't… Call me later and we'll try to set up a tutoring date," he says to an anxious boy. The boy simply nods and runs to meet his friends as Youko begins his leisurely walk home.

He takes time to stop and smell the flowers and I can sense that he is happy and content with his life. I wish I were.

"Oi! Kurama!"

He turns at the sound of his name, waving at the quickly approaching Yusuke. Yusuke slows to walk at a gentle pace by Youko's side, grinning.

"So, to what do I owe this honor? Our paths don't usually cross at this time of day," Youko asks politely.

"Koenma says he needs to meet with us at Genkai's temple. Something about separation," Yusuke says with a carefree tone. "He's making me round up everybody. We're to meet at around six, okay?"

Youko nods, smiling. "That gives me just enough time to do my homework." He glanced at Yusuke. "Now that I've finally gotten into college, I wish that I'd just stayed with my step-father and worked with him. Less paper work, you know."

Yusuke chuckles. "You can always come and work at the ramen shop. We've got a spot on the staff open, if you're interested."

"No, I've got finish college for kasaan. After that, it's back my step-father's company, thought I'll have a higher position that before," he answers, staring ahead.

"Okay, but the offer will _always_ be open for you." Yusuke is teasing, of course. He knows Keiko will never agree to keep a job open for someone who will never need it. "Do you know where I can find Hiei?"

"Check the park. If he's not there napping, he's probably at my house, waiting to bug me," Youko replies. "He's been strange ever since he decided to take leave of Mukuro, don't you think?"

'No!' I scream, even though no one will hear me. 'My Hiei is perfectly normal! He's just more kind. Hiei is never strange!'

"Nah, he's just fine. Maybe he's only acting weird around _you_," Yusuke teases as he runs off, disappearing down the street. I cheer Yusuke on. I knew my Hiei was just fine!

As I think about Hiei more and more, I only realize Youko is home after he takes a shower and is walking back into his bedroom with nothing but a pair of jeans on. I cheer up as I see Hiei sitting on the window sill.

Youko, however, doesn't give the greeting I would've. He simply smiles and begins to dig in his drawer for a shirt. Once he is in a comfortable white t-shirt, he turns to face Hiei and the two quietly leave for Genkai's temple.

When we arrive, I note that we are last. We join the group gathered under the old oak tree, and see Koenma talking in a hushed tone with Botan, who looks as if she were about to cry. They notice us and immediately quiet.

"Okay, Koenma, everyone's here! Can we get this over with?" Yusuke asks impatiently, trying his best to ignore Kuwabara as he flirts endlessly with Yukina. I'm somewhat relived when Hiei steps in between the two. He really should tell her the truth about her brother…

Koenma's voice brings me back to reality. "I'm going straight to the point. This is about Kurama."

Everyone's eyes turn to Youko and his bewildered expression. I'm just as confused.

"Kurama, as I have recently found out, is not the only soul in his body."

I perk up. Could someone actually know about me? How?

"The soul of Minamino Shuichi is in the far corners of his mind. Kurama is in violation of a Reikai law. He will not be punished, as he has been such a great help."

I'm being acknowledged! I strain the hear Koenma, or is it Youko who is trying to hear? I can feel everyone's confused glances at me.

"Kurama, your demon body will be returned to you, and Shuichi will gain control of the one you are possessing."

"What!" Youko exclaims. "This is my body! If I lose it… What about my mother? Do you expect me to just forget her? I won't be able to talk to her and she definitely won't accept a demon saying he's her son! That'd give her a heart attack!"

"You _possessed_ an unborn infant's body! The child deserves to have control over his life! You will be separated!"

Separated! Yes! I can sense that my freedom is close!

"How did you find out!" Youko asks desperately.

"We never really looked into it, but out of curiosity, George was looking at Minamino Shuichi's files and found that his soul was still in your body. Be thankful that you aren't being executed for this! Possessing a human is a serous crime!"

Youko is saddened immensely, but he is accepting his defeat. He knows what he did was wrong and is willing to cooperate. He says as much.

"Good," Koenma states, thankful that this was not the old youko he was talking to. "Now, shall we begin?"

A/N: Youko and Kurama are the same person, still, if you consider them different. Shuichi calls Kurama "Youko" because he knows him as demon Youko while everyone else considers him the fox in a human body, Kurama.

Crappy place to end the chapter, I know. Think of it as a bad attempt at suspense. It's 2 am.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho doesn't belong to me and never will. It's Togashi-sama's.

Separation

Chapter 2

Youko and I are ready. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, Yukina, Genkai, Botan, and Koenma are there. Youko and I, as one, stand before Koenma, who is currently facing Botan and reading from the large, worn book she is holding up for him. He goes over what he read in whispers with Botan as I wait eagerly.

Koenma finally looks up at us and sighs heavily, raising his hands to face us. He begins to say words I don't understand, nor recognize. It all comes out smoothly, and I feel as if it's flowing around us like a stream, steadily growing into a large, racing river. I can sense myself in it, holding on as hard as possible to keep from being swept away. The water pushes against me, trying to force me away.

But I don't want to go. I want to stay. I have to stay. The rapids force me back slightly, and I give out a short gasp, yet regain my stance. I look to my right as I hear a scream and see a beautiful creature, dressed in white with long, silver hair, and golden eyes. The creature is in pain, yelling and fighting the river pointlessly. I watch in horror as a large wave comes and sweeps him away. I hold on as best I can, letting out a terrified, pained yell…

I gasp, coming to. I'm lying on the ground, gasping for air. I can hear several alarmed voices and my heart is pounding in my chest. I slowly lift myself into a sitting position and look at my surroundings. Koenma is on his knees, wheezing with Botan kneeling next to him. Yukina is clutching to Kuwabara's arm as they stare to my left. Yusuke's mouth is hanging open and Hiei's eyes are wider then I have ever seen them. And on my left is…

The beautiful creature in white is kneeling next to me, gasping with a hand placed over his heart. His hair is hiding the golden eyes I know are there. His tail is hanging loosely behind him and his ears are drooping. I instantly recognize him as Youko. I turn fully to him and try to get a good look at the creature I have hated for so long.

Youko's golden eyes turn to me and widen as if he had never known I was there. We stare at each other in a bewildered sort of way, and uncomfortable silence hanging in the air. It's awkward, and I'm scared to speak. Here I am, staring at the true form of the soul that I shared my body with since birth, the man I hated and loathed. Why can't I speak? I always thought that the first thing I would do if we were ever separated would be to give him a piece of my mind, but as I watch him, I feel guilty for feeling that way. Why do I feel guilty for hating a person who stole my life? Why!

"…Shuichi…"

I tense at the sound of my name. It was Youko who called me out, in a deep, full voice that made me shiver.

"Everyone, this is Minamino Shuichi," Youko says, turning toward everyone else. He stands and then holds a hand out for me. I reluctantly take it and he helps me to stand.

"…Hi, everyone…" I mutter, staring at them. Now that I'm in control, what will they think of me? Will they remain my friends, or will they never speak to me again?

"Yo, Shuichi! I'm sure we need no introduction, buddy!" Yusuke says, grinning, "Welcome to the group!"

My eyes widen. I can feel a sense of relief sweeping over everyone, including me. Yukina is next to speak, bowing politely.

"Pleased to meet you, Shuichi-san," she says, and Kuwabara hastily follows her lead. He seems somewhat at a loss of what to do.

"I'm happy to meet you, Shu-chan!" Botan cheerfully exclaims, "What's it feel like to be able to be in control now?"

I can't help but grinning. "I feel free!" I burst out, "Freedom is a wonderful thing!" Now, where have I heard that before? Oh, well, it doesn't matter. I really am free now, so I have nothing to worry about, right?

I turn to youko with a warm feeling in my heart. Where did my hate _go_?

"Youko-san! Gomen nasai!"

"Why are you apologizing?" He asks from a spot next to Hiei, who is leaning against the tree trunk. He seems a little too close to Hiei in my opinion, but I'll ignore it for now.

"I've always hated you for stealing my body, and now I'm apologizing for it!" I smile at him as I say this. I really do mean my apology. I've completely forgiven him, all because I feel like I owe him for willingly allowing himself to be taken out of my body.

"Well, at least the kid's honest," Hiei says. I can't help but grin at him. He complimented me, after all! I wonder if I'll get a chance to be alone with him. Probably not, considering the fact that he just flitted off… I can always hope, though.

"Ahem."

We all turn to Koenma.

"I'm just going to say that Youko will need a place to stay until he's ready to leave for the Makai, or at least make himself able to look more human," Koenma states.

"He can stay with me," Yusuke offers, "My mom won't care, or freak out about the demon thing." Yusuke sounds confident.

"Alright…" Youko mumbles, staring at the ground. "Koenma…"

"Yes?"

"Is there anyway that I can see my mother?"

The group falls silent once again. I frown. She's _my_ mother, not his! But I keep silent. I know he loves her, and I feel sorry for him. He won't be able to see her anymore…

"I…" Koenma states, "I'm leaving that up to you, but I do _not_ want you to inform her of otherworldly things. She should know nothing of the Reikai, Makai, demons, gods, or anything of the 'supernatural'. Do you understand me?"

Youko nods and I feel like my presence will make him feel worse.

"I-I'm leaving… I want to go home and see my family, okay?" I say. I run away without waiting for a reply.

"I'm home!" I call out as I slip my shoes off and my slippers on. I walk into the kitchen as my mother calls out a "Welcome back."

I give her a quick hug. "I love you, mother," I say, squeezing her tight. I can actually feel her in my arms! This is amazing!

"I love you, too, Shuichi, dear," she says, giggling. "It's nice to see you so cheerful. May I ask what happened to lift your spirits so much?"

"Nothing that you need to worry about, mother," I say, "Where's Shuichi-chan?"

"Playing videogames in his bedroom, of course," Mother says before turning back to the soup she's making. "Going to say hello to him, too?"

"Yep!" I say cheerfully as I walk out of the room.

I find my little brother inches away from his television screen, concentrating on his fighter. I sit next to him and he gives me a nod in greeting, never once looking away.

"Arrgh! No! No, no, no, no, _no_!" He exclaims angrily as "game over" appears on the screen. "I can never beat the stupid fat king! No, no, no, _no_! I hate this game!"

I chuckle as he glares evilly at the television screen. "May I try?"

He gives me a surprised look. "Really? I thought you didn't like videogames," Shuichi says as he eyes me suspiciously.

"I've never really given it a try, have I?" He shakes his head. "Then let's see if I like them, okay?" He nods and hands over the control.

I whistle a small tune as I walk down the street toward Yusuke's house. School just ended and I feel like visiting Youko. It's been a week and I want to ask him a few things about Hiei. After all, even though I always watched them, I haven't got a clue how to act around Hiei, or even how to find him.

I ring the door bell and hear sounds of someone running in the apartment. The door then opens and Yusuke's mom appears. She gives me a bewildered look, and then moves aside to let me in without a word. I toe off my shoes and turn to ask her where Yusuke is.

"He still hasn't come home from school," she says, puffing her cigarette.

"Is Youko here?" I ask as she flops down onto the couch.

"Oh? You know about him?" Atsuko says, visibly relieved, "Yeah, he's here. YOUKO! You've got company! Get your ass out here!"

I look around as youko walks out from behind a door. He gives me a surprised look, but smiles.

"Shuichi? What're you doing here?" He asks. He sounds tired to me, but I try to ignore it.

"I wanted to talk to you, if that's okay," I say.

"Sure," Youko says warily, "Come on. We can talk in Yusuke's room."

I follow him into another room and get comfortable on the floor. He lies down on the bed facing me, his silver hair lying about his head like a halo.

"What do you want to discuss?" Youko asks, searching half-heartedly for a blanket with one hand. He finds it and wraps it around himself.

I blush. "I want to ask you a few things about… Well…"

"Well?" He repeats.

"I want to know more about Hiei," I state bluntly.

He remains quiet for a few minutes, and then asks, "What do you want to know?" He asks it cautiously, as if afraid to answer.

"I want to know everything. What he likes, his feelings toward things, what he dislikes, his history, and how to act around him," I say shyly, "…And maybe, if you know, how to get him to like _like_ me…"

"You're interested in him?" Youko asks, "As in, you want to be his lover?"

I blush, but nod. I stare at my hands resting in my lap as I eagerly wait for him to start explaining Hiei to me.

"…No," Youko finally speaks, "Get out."

I look up, shocked. "Huh?"

"GET OUT!"

"What's wrong?" I ask as Youko gets up and gives me a vicious look. "What'd I do!"

"Got out, damn it! You took away my mother and now you're trying to take away my closest friend? Get the hell out!"

He forces me out of the room and throws me against the wall. I hear Atsuko give out a short yelp of surprise.

"What's going on!" She asks, clutching the remote to her chest. "Youko?"

"Stay the hell away from my friends, do you understand me?" Youko exclaims angrily, shaking me. "_Do you understand!_"

I give a small nod and am thrown out the door, literally. The door slams as I loosen my uniform collar and gasp for breath. He almost choked me! What'd I do to deserve this!

I try to ignore my neck's small aching as I walk through the park, toward home. I don't understand Youko's actions at all. He had seemed so angry, like he truly hated me… But what did I do? All I did was ask him about Hiei, and then he became angry.

Was there something he didn't want me to know about Hiei? …No, he hadn't said anything like that. What was it he had made me agree to?

"_Stay the hell away from my friends, do you understand me?"_

Youko's words come flooding back. So he wanted me away from his friends? Was he worried that I would replace him? No, such a strong person couldn't be bothered by something so unlikely. Everyone still loved him for who he was, I'm sure of it. I haven't really had any contact with the others, but it's something that's almost painfully obvious. No one can replace anyone in their hearts. To them, he just looks different than normal. I'm just a new friend, that's it. There was nothing for Youko to be jealous about.

I look into the fountain as I pass it. I have a glum expression on my face and a red handprint on my neck. It seemed to be fading away, but slowly. I stop and stare at myself. This red hair, these green eyes… Is it really me?

I gasp as a movement in the trees catches my attention. In the reflection, I can see a well hidden black form on a high branch in the tree right behind me. I turn around and look up, full of hope.

The tree is empty. I sigh and look back into the water. Perhaps I'm so desperate for Hiei's company that I've started to see things? I sneak another glance at the tree, digging a coin out of my pocket. A wish that I'll get to see Hiei soon may be foolish, but at least it's _something_.

I yelp loudly as I turn back to the water. Hiei's reflection is staring back at me. I _know_ he wasn't standing beside me a second ago! I turn to face him.

"G-good evening, Hiei," I say, turning to face him, getting only eye contact form him I reply. "I haven't seen you since Youko and I were separated… How've you been?"

Hiei gives me a wary look and looks pointedly at my throat. "Stay away from Youko. You won't be getting any help if he decides to kill you." He glares up at me. "I want you to go away and leave us alone. We have no need of a useless human boy. You're just in the way."

I stare at him with a shocked expression. He flits off into the sunset. I can't believe he just said that…

A/N: I'm getting better at the suspense thing, huh?


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is not mine, no matter how much I wish it were. I'm making no money off this. Don't sue me, because all you'll get is a few cats and my dingy computer. And a keychain. But I'll leave the country before I give up my Hiei keychain! So don't even think about it!

Separation

Chapter 3

As I walk slowly down the path toward home, I recall Hiei's words.

"_I want you to go away and leave us alone. We have no need of a useless human boy. You're just in the way."_

Why? Why did he have to say that? I know that I'm human with no special abilities at all… I know I'm of no use to them… But, they're all I have. They're my family and my only friends. Doesn't he realize that?

Probably not. After all, he _is_ an emotionless demon bastard. He's rude, he's a murderer, he's self centered…!

I can't fool myself. I love him. I know he's none of those. I just wish he would understand. Heh, now that I think about it, I'm just being selfish. Why can't I think about others for once?

I sigh heavily as I slip into my house. No one else is home. I go straight to bed. Maybe I can rest my mind a bit…

I awake to a small noise. At first, I'm not quite sure what it is. I sit up and look around my room. It's a gentle tapping. Where is it coming from?

The room is dark and my hair is in my face. There is no light radiating from the moon. I look over to my window and my heart skips a beat. There's someone outside my window!

After the shock of seeing an unknown figure outside, my fear changes to hope. Could it be Hiei? I scramble out of bed. I can welcome him in and maybe even offer him a place to sleep!

I yank open the window and can't help but feel disappointed at what I see. Botan, floating on her oar, is covering a yawn. She nods in acknowledgement and pats an empty spot on her oar behind her.

"G'morning, Shuichi-san… Hop on," she says. She's adjusts her kimono slightly and rubs her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, confused. Why would Botan be coming to my window at two a.m. telling me to "hop on"?

"Koenma-sama wants to see you…," she said, "He said no one would notice if I picked you up this early…" Again, she patted her oar. "Get on."

"What for?" I asked.

"So I can take you to Reikai, obviously!" She growls angrily, giving me an evil glare.

"No, why does Koenma want to see me?" I clarify. I really don't want to test her patience, but I'm not about to fly _that_ high with a half awake grim reaper at 2 am.

"I don't know!" Botan snapped. She reached forward and grabbed my collar, "But I suggest you get on _now_ or I might accidentally drop you in hell for a few years…"

I quickly climbed on. I didn't like that look in her eyes. I don't think she was joking.

The ride to Reikai was terrifying. Not only did Botan almost fall off her own oar, but she just _had_ to do a few flips, one which caused me to fall off completely. I think it was her way of getting revenge. I'm just glad she caught me…

Needless to say, by the time we arrived in Koenma's office, I was a little worse for wear. My eyes were wide and my hair windblown.

"Thank you for bringing him, Botan," Koenma said, "You may go now." Botan bowed and left the office.

"Follow me, if you will," the godling said.

He hopped out of his chair and led me through a door into a bigger room. There was a large amount of ogres, some at strange looking computers, some standing around holding clip boards, and all the others surrounding a large, stone chair in the middle of the room.

"Take a seat," Koenma says, gesturing to the chair. I look at him as if he were crazy.

"Why?" I ask, feeling tense. The chair didn't look at all appealing.

"We're just going to run a few tests on you. We have to make sure—"

"Warning! No specimen for memory replacement! Emergency shutdown! Repeating, Warning!"

A large flashing sign appeared on a screen above the largest computer. Koenma looked around and began yelling at a blue ogre.

"GEORGE!" He screeched, "What do you think you're doing!"

I tuned everything out and ran. I slipped through door leading to Koenma's office, out the door I entered to get there, down a long hall, past ogres, past filing cabinets, around desks, and out the big entrance doors.

I ran to a small staircase of stone leading down the large cliff the castle sat on. I ran as fast as I could.

How could they? They were going to erase my memories and replace them with fake ones! I know it was probably due to the law of no humans knowing of the supernatural, but still!

I gasp as I slip down the stairs and roll the rest of the way down. I land on the hard ground, screaming in pain. Something snapped. I didn't know what it was, and at that moment, I didn't care.

The rain began to pour as I got up and looked above me. Almost fifty oni were running down the stairs after me. I turned and ran faster. I didn't want to lose my memory. My memories are all I have.

I dart through trees on my left, hoping they wouldn't be able to follow my trail. The storm is ferocious, with thunder booming above me. The wind is blowing hard enough to knock me off my feet, and the lightning is eerily closer to the ground with each flash. I begin to zigzag around, turning at random. Over the wind, I hear the voices. The oni are drawing nearer. I have to get away.

I stop and look around me. A cave, off in the distance! I run toward it like mad. The oni are closer. I must hide. I must run. I must seek refuge. They can't find me. They can't!

Lightning strikes the tree just outside the cave. It begins to fall. I scream as I lung into the cave, out of the tree's way. The flaming tree is blocking the entrance, and a heavy limb is lying atop my leg. I breathe heavily as I hear the oni run past. I'm safe from them. I'll keep my memories!

My leg is becoming numb, I notice, and my arm is hurting. I was betrayed by them. Koenma and Botan betrayed me.

I think of Hiei to get my mind off my problems. The emotions are tearing at my insides, and I don't want to face reality.

The storm, night, and pain slowly fade away into darkness…


End file.
